great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
