oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize