Your tits are I can't wait for
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
