How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
You pole danced in your parka.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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