Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
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