She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Randomize
