you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
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