Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Randomize
