Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
