Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
