Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
