It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
