If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I met the friendliest cop last night
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
