So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
