Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
