escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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