Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
