who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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