if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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