this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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