just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
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