he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
