is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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