I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
