Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
