You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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