So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Randomize
