Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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