I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
