What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
