Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
