I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
