girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Randomize
