If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
3pm strippers are depressing
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
