I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Randomize
