she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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