Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
