It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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