Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Randomize
