If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
He felt like a one man threesome
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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