She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
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