My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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