fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
