I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
