So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
