my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
I love you.
Bad choice
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
