I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Randomize
