i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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