i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
