please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
