what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
