i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize