apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
